Your Unexpected DNA Match Is Not a Fake DNA Account Created by Someone Trying to Scam You
The shock of an unexpected DNA family member can cause people to react in different ways.
Some people embrace a new DNA relative and are open to answering questions and seeing where it leads.
Others can shut down communication, delete test accounts, involve lawyers, and respond with threats.
A client recently asked for me to review an unexpected close relative who appeared in his list of DNA matches at AncestryDNA. Based on all of the information - DNA and circumstantial evidence - this new relative appears to be a surprise paternal half-sister. Another sibling, an existing sister of my client, has expressed doubts and involved lawyers in an attempt to make the new DNA sister go away. The most recent claim is that the DNA account must have somehow been faked and the mystery person is a scammer trying to get something from the family.
Could a DNA test be faked like his existing sister claimed it could be, the client wanted to know? The short answer to his question is no, but the longer answer tells us why that is true, at least for tests from Ancestry and at least for now.
Some DNA test companies allow for a person’s computerized DNA file from their at-home DNA test (the VCF file) to be created by one company and transferred over to their database for comparison. We can consider the possibility that, theoretically, a VCF file could be tampered with and then uploaded to a site that allows file uploads and that some shady business could take place in the middle.
However, AncestryDNA does not allow for this to happen.
AncestryDNA does not allow uploads of DNA information into their database that they did not process themselves from a submitted saliva sample. There is no way to create a faked set of DNA molecules that contain a sequence of marker mimicking that of a particular family, and somehow get that manufactured set of DNA sequences into a vial of spit and have it appear as if they are in a half-sibling relationship to another person.
SOMETIMES THESE FEARS ARE WELL-FOUNDED, SINCE SITUATIONS LIKE THE ONE I JUST EXPLAINED HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE.
My experience working with NPEs and adoptees tell me that the vast majority of people are just trying to figure out their own genetic identity. They just want to know the truth.
If someone is reaching out to you, try to figure out why you want to keep the door closed. Are you fearing loss? Change? Perhaps you feel a sense of duty to protect someone you think won’t be able to handle the truth if it comes out.
Truth is, people are often much more resilient than we give them credit. Families have skeletons in the closet. It can be hard, especially when they are first discovered.
Things might change in your family, and things might be hard for a while. But you can do this.
THAT IS A SCIENCE FICTION FUTURE THAT COULD ONE DAY BE HERE, BUT RIGHT NOW IS NOT POSSIBLE.
The people we match closely based on genotype microarray analysis from an ancestry test match us because they have ancestors in common with us. Full stop.
My advice was to consider repeating DNA tests at one or more of the other companies; consider these independent studies with independent verification, if you would. But I encouraged my client to recognize that no matter what evidence he provides, his existing sister may just come up with one theory after another to explain away their newfound DNA sister.
When this happens, it can be seen as a form of self-protection. Or possibly family image-protection.
It takes some people a much longer time to accept that their family story (as they have always known it) and the truth of their family story (how it actually is) might be different from each other.
It takes patience and information to respond to the various theories people create to explain away DNA results (hence my new Kindle eBook, “Could the DNA test be wrong?”).
And sometimes it takes even more patience and more information and more DNA testing on other family.
The doubt and resistance some people face when they reach out to new family is not uncommon. The fear of rejection or of being accused of being a scammer or other type of bad person causes some people to hold back from reaching out to biological relatives.
THE PEOPLE YOU ARE SHOCKED TO LEARN ARE DNA RELATIVES MIGHT BE EVEN MORE SHOCKED ABOUT THE DISCOVERY THAN YOU.
Just take a breath and realize that calling them scammers and rounding up the lawyers is an exercise that might buy you time but not much more than that.
Readers of this post who are interested in more information on this topic might find this ebook helpful: Could the DNA Test Be Wrong?